Nothing

Hi. This one is going to be short because I did not really prepare anything and had a rough day. It even made me wonder whether I would be able to write this or not. Alas, I could write about what made me have so little time today.

At this very day, the first test for becoming a policeman was set and I happily went there. First off was a test through the use of a computer to get the tasks etc. I was having way more fun doing that, than I should. It was like playing Professor Layton on a time limit - I was really having a blast doing that. Of course with an attitude like that, I passed that one. Yay!

Second was the sports test. 3000m in 14 minutes and 30 seconds. This gave me quite the hard time and I trained a lot for this. Luckily, even though my body is kinda weak, my mind is really, really strong. Therefore, it does not matter if I am tired and would actually not be able to run anymore - I just do it. So I passed this one, too.

That is it. Now I have to wait for the next time, in which I will be tested orally, which ist not as much fun as it sounds - I suck at oral exams.

We will be seeing how it will end. Until then, have a nice 30 days.

Greed.

Hi there. I bet you are asking yourself now: "Hey, he said he'll be posting on every 13th of the month! He did not keep his schedule so now we'll shun him forever! And ever!" Welp, as it turns out: I have a life. And mine said last week that a vacation is due - unfortunately up until the 14th of the month and yesterday was just a really bad day to write anything. Also I'm lazy. Topic ahead!

One might think that greed has always been present in my previous posts. And yes, I admit, it was. However, the greed of people deserves a short text for itself. Why, you ask? Because humans need MOAR!.... I am terribly sorry for that little outburst, it will not happen again. But let me actually begin.

As one of the seven deadly sins greed has always been on people's minds. Especially religious people who are greedy themselves by wanting money for any good deed they seem fit. Do you notice one thing? I hate religion. It can be used as any good excuse for a really, really dumb action. What will happen then? I do not know for I will never use that one.

So, now actually talking about greed itself: It is very self explainatory. People have stuff but want more. I am not going to draw the Africa-Card here, no worries. However I do not get how humans just can not sit back, relax and be content of the material objects they have. A house? Check. Food? Check. Money? Check. Free time? Check. Happiness? Non existent.

I can truly say that at the moment I am content with what I have but, humans being I am, I too want more. An own house (I live with my parents), a better job, my own family and a little bit more knowledge in japanese language. BUT - and this is important - I am working really hard for these aims. My version to ratify my greed, do not judge.

I saw one little picture which shows pretty clearly how it is nowadays, especially with kids: On the left there was a happy kid. It had a skateboard, a football, a basketball and even a N64! What else could he wish for? Now, on the left: A really angry kid, holding up an iPad and iPhone, having a big TV and all the current consoles shouting loudly "I need MORE! DUH!!!!111!"

Any objections? I did not think so.

Adios.
Azure

Biase

This is one of those aspects that I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate.... Sorry, I must have been stuck in a loop. Well, I really, really hate the fact of people being biased. It annoys me so much, especially lately I have had way too many examples for just this. Let it rip!

Why do people think that, just by seeing something or someone, they instantly know everything about that thing or person? Is it experience? No, that would actually work in many ways. Is it knowledge? Hell no, everyone who is actually biased can not be considered smart and therefore does not fit into the knowledge-part. It is because people listen to too much stuff around the city, on the streets, in a mall or the internet - oh, especially the internet.

I could write a whole book for dumb people on the internet, however, nobody would read it. Nobody wants to be called stupid... I think. But let us get to the case: Humans are gullible as hell. They hear something, they believe it. It will instantly be picked up as the truth and it is not like they are goind to try to find out whether it is true or just dumb shit that was talked about somewhere.

Since the internet is mostly anonymous, people like to hide. And because people can hide, they show their true face in that anonymity. (I am growing really fond of making up my own words, in case that one does not exist. It should, really.) If something is shown, it will be thrown into a drawer and will be cursed for whatever it is believed to be.

It begins when persons see each other. How they look, how they walk, stand or use their gestures. I am not taking in the option of the way they talk, because most of the time that is not even considered. And from what they see, they make up their own opinion. I myself made a little long-time experiment. I changed my look on many occasions to see how others reacted. I was normal, an emo, a goth, a metalhead and at the moment purely awesome. And just from seeing me, people reacted in such a different manner - it is not even funny. They didn't know me, my personality has not changed at all but everyone was distracted by the way I looked. That is just stupid.

The reason to write about this particular topic actually came from something different: The new game DmC Devil may Cry, which completely changes the way the game looked in the previous entrys. That said, it will be released in january 2013, so just next year. And too many people already hate the game for what it looks like, for what it is called. "That's no Devil May Cry! Dante is no freaking emo piece of shit crybaby!" That is the general response, without knowing anything. So stupid.

Whatever. That is it for now. We will be seeing us next month.

Love.

This will be interesting to write about, will it not? To think about such a beatiful topic as that to turn into something that just makes me hate humanity more. Oh well, that is just how things sometimes turn out, right? Here we go:

Love as an emotion is, in my eyes, a really, really strange thing. Choices are made that are most unrational - nobody will probably ever understand them. One just starts to say different words, use other kinds of expression or plain and simply starts to act like a jerk because one does not know how to deal with all the feelings one is overwhelmed with. Still: How can a wonderfull thing such as love be chosen as a reason to hate humanity? This has more to do with myself than other people, so you will learn a little about me as a person! Is that not nice or what?

There are persons in this world which are generally seen as the "buddy type". You can be good pals with someone and you just have a lot of fun together. And with this type of humans there is particular problem, if I am the one who knows such a person: I fall for them. In my opinion, there can not be a better one to love than a person who is kind, knows your fun and you just like to be with in general. Yet, this type is exactly which actually does not see it that way, too.

One of my coworkers is just that kind of species. While we talked for some time we actually came to the topic of friendship and that's when she told me that she usually is considered as the "buddy type" and how that is "exactly what a woman wants to hear". That made me reconsile about her and just what I think of her to be. Well the end of it is that I now am petrified to talk to or do something with her. Sucks, he? But there you have my problem with love - I can not deal with it.

I am the kind of guy who is just too shy to do anything, really. If it goes over a little comment which I do in a bigger group of people, there is no problem with it. But more than that and then even a little conversation? I get so freaking nervous, that I would need to hurt myself to stop from shaking - and I really do not feel like doing that.

So, yeah... My problem with love is more personal than something that fits for every human. However, this just can not be a rant solely about other people, since I hate myself just about the same amount as I hate everybody else. But it also makes me think: Why the hell am I like that? This petrification, why exactly do I have such a big problem talking to the woman I like so much? ... I do not know, really. If I actually continue with this, we will probably see the outcome at one point or another. The way it is now, I'll end it at that note.

Sincerely yours,
Azure

Indecision

Again, it is the 13th of the month and that means: More rant! Yay! Plus, today is friday, so wish me luck for this round of rant, rant, rant and even more rant!

People have trouble deciding what to do. Did you ever notice it? Did you consider noticing it and afterwards just thought: "Damn, I can not decide. Then I'll just leave it be..." Well, that is what I am writing about today. And the reason for that is extremely simple: I hate people just standing there, complaining and thinking about what to do. There is no worth in doing nothing, really.

I will be honest at this point. I had quite a lot of times when I had the exact same thought and just could not decide - which is why I came up the idea of finally making one decision: Do what comes into your mind. No matter what it is, it is still better than just doing nothing. Because if one does anything, there is a chance of success. Otherwise the chance is about 0% and you will never, ever find out what could have happened. Maybe something extremely good, maybe something pretty bad. We will never know.

Now, I do work with my plain and small 20 years. And my superiors are a little... How do I put it... Split, when it comes to how to use someone, who can pretty much do anything and will bring good results. You know, I am very proud to call myself a person like that. I am reliable, fast, accurate and do not bitch about the hard work all the time. Plus: I can critisize and like to be corrected myself, so there is nothing wrong with me being there. The Problem is: Since I can do everything, it is up to them what to let me do. And sometimes, that is just really annoying. Ten minutes there, fifteen somewhere else, maybe an hour later doing something completly different again.

So, you see, Indecision can be bitch - in the private life and at work. Other people often do not like it either, because if it is you who has to make the decision and you take a long as time, they have to wait. Good job!

That is it.
Azure

Irrationalism

Is that even a word? I really have no clue, yet, I do not care either. Soo... Since I noticed, that my first official Post and the second one both were released on a 13th of the month, I thought I could make just that a running theme. So, from now on, every month on the 13th you will probably read something from me. Is that nice or what? I know, you choose "or". Moving on...

I seriously think that I make my decisions mostly with reason. Everything I do is solely to make something really happen because of a certain reason which I am not to shy to tell. It is rational thinking. Everybody can follow my chain of thought. It is easy, it has reason, people can not say anything against it because it mostly is a good decision. This, unfortunately, is not given in the world we live in. It is both sad and extremely annoying. Honestly, the annoying part is the one that bothers me the most. I am just human, therefore self-centered.

But now back to the topic? As I said, I am a hobby psychologist. I analyze stuff people do because it is very funny for me. And one of the things I observed were, that people usually ask the question "Why?. Why did you do that? Wouldn't it be more intelligent to do the other thing? Or even include this or that?" A difficult question, I admit that much. But there is only one reason why: The chain of thought of said person who did something is not thought throught thoroughly. There are lots and lots of little things that just do not add up to the conclusion.

So why do it anyway? Humans do not realize this mistake - or at least most of the time they do not. They seem to be very confident in what they figured out without even noticing that they should think a little bit more about what they are doing. And that, my dear ladys and gentlemen is the way of irrational thinking I despise so much. I can also name some very, very small examples of that way of thinking. Also, since nobody is stopping me, might as well:

Have you ever seen a person in a rush? Going very fast through all the people in the way? And in the middle of doing that, he just stops on the dot. Simply ceases to move and stays on the point. In the middle of the crowd they there litterally plowing through and immediatly begin being a nuisance to everyone else. Furthermore, a more funny than annoying example: People rush through the city, again very fast and make it to the escalator. There, they stop rushing and wait for the escalator to bring them to their destination... I never figured out why people do that.

That is it for today. I will see you again on the 13th of July. Farewell.

Regards
Azure

Ignorance.

Why, hello there.
Did I write two or three weeks? Sometimes I'm just that much into thought... Make that two or three months. I bet like that it'll be easier not to disappoint the eight people which actually visited my site. Thanks for that by the way. But to get to the topic at hand...

Humans in general have become ignorant about their surroundings. Everything they see, they hear or even feel. Nothing that directly impacts on themselves matters to them. They just want to live their own life without anyone else interfering. But not only that: If they are the cause for a problem in public, they even ignore that and just walk away. There are enough other people who could help, right? And as it occurs, I have an example what happened to me which made me dislike humanity even more.

On that day, I was simply riding my bike. General information: I'm always pretty fast while driving around, thus I tend to ride past everyone. And on that note: People don't seem to care to watch out for faster drivers while in Groups, which easily block the whole road, therefore giving me the need to slow down. But that is not the story I want to tell. But: It was winter. The roads were partly covered in ice - not the best condition to ride the bike, but alas the roads were just party frozen. A nice path was free, safe for me to ride my bike. But than a pedestrian came by, though that he was probably to fancy to walk on ice and took the unfrozen way, not caring that I was riding right towards him. Since I did not want to hurt him, I hit the breaks. However, that idea did not work, making me drive on the ice to not hit him. Of course: Braking on ice plus the need to dodge equals me slipping and falling with my bike.

So: What's the end of the story? I fell. Nothing major, I don't give a damn about a little physical pain. But the fact that the pedestrian took a short time looking at me, falling because of him, and then just walked away - now that was enraging. Why the hell did he not help me, or even say a little word if I am okay? No, preferably he just looked at me and walked away. It was not his fault, right? In moments like that I really wish I could just hit people. Or kick, I am pretty good at both and also sure that I would win.

Enough of that little story. This only strenghtens my point, that people do not care about anything else than themselves. As long as they are okay, they do not care. Especially in public. Another positif argument for my point of view: Did anybody ever think of headphones? Sure, they are handy, being able to listen to your own music on the go without letting anyone else hear your tunes. But with those little things people isolate themselves from the outer world. It symbolizes: "I do not care what others are saying, I am living in my own world. You do not exist here." That... That is just sad. If people would actually care for others, sometimes life could be that much easier.

That is it for now. Farewell.
Azure

Lies.

Hello there.
Nobody actually noticed my blog, which is fun. Like this, I can just write whatever I want and nobody will ever notice what it was, that formed my mind to what it is right now. But for the real post now...

Today I will go into the general topic of lies and later will give experiences of when they happened or if they happen again and why exactly I can not stand them. The ability to lie itself is why I distrust humanity. If you are talking to somebody, you will never now with a 100% certainty, that what was said is true. The only countermeasure for lies, is trust.

"Trust is difficult to earn, but easily taken away." This describes the situation nowadays. If you are in public and, let's say, you want to talk to somebody. Not ask a simple question to which you might get an answer, but just talk. People will not trust you. For most of them, you will be a creep. "Why is that guy/chick talking to me? Does he/she want something?" My question there would be: Why do I need a reason to talk to somebody? Funily enough, this is showing a general distrust amongst humans today. Why can there not be a general trust?

It is because people lie. Because they try everything to gain an advantage out of something. And if it is just to ask for an eraser, people want something. They are greedy and therefore use one of the god-given abilitys to gain it: Not telling the truth.

Maybe I dislike this just because I am a very honest person who has a horribly strong conscience, which does not forgive even the slightest lie and will haunt me untill I correct that. But think about it... If people were not able to lie or were simply telling the truth every time... trust would be a common thing. There would be nothing special about it.

Taking the point that tomorrow is the so called "Valentine's Day", finding love would also be much easier. No unlucky surprises and deception, you would tell your partner the truth and an indestructible bond would be forged. But love is a topic I will get into on a later point.

Have a nice day,
Azure.

Welcome.

Why, hello there.
This being my first post, I think it would be appropriate to introduce myself. I am mostly known as "Azure" and I am in fact german. It would be nice to keep that fact in mind and thereby be considerate if it comes to failures in my writing, even though I will try to do my best and make my texts as undestandable as possible. The reason I am posting in english is simply, that, like this, my publications will be accessible to a wider audience.

To go further into myself, I am a misanthropist - a person who despises humans. Why, I here you ask? Humanity simply has become rotten and selfish. ignorant if you will. These are the biggest complains I have but, in all honesty, I do not need any more than those.

Furthermore, I am very interested in psychology, especially in combination with people's behaviour. Because of that, I go through life very... let's call it "open". I am listening to as many things as possible and try to make reason out of it. Thereby actually having quite a lot of fun, since I am lacking context most of the time. But, alas, with humans being as easy to read as books, it is actually quite easy to gather needed information.

These are my mostly used characteristics I will be refering to while writing. To come to more commonly said things: My hobbies include listening to music (which mostly is Metal), training my body in martial arts and playing video games. I am merely 19 years old and hope to become a police officer someday soon.

Alright. All that said and done, my rant will be starting soon. I do not know exactly when my first post will be, but if it happens, I will try to update every two to three days.

I hope we will see us again.

Regards
Azure